May 31
Goofy is the only classic Disney character who has had sex.
Mickey has nephews, Donald has nephews, Goofy has a son.
And he wasn’t adopted, he looks just like him.
Goofy……has had sex.
Goofy…..has known a woman biblically….Imagine what it must’ve looked like.
Imagine what it sounded like.These are the things I think about when I wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat.
GAWRSH that sure is wet!
24,872 notes | Reblogged: (via)
May 31
PUNS! PUNS EVERYWHERE!
- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
66,886 notes | Reblogged: (via)
May 31
Problems of teenagers.
- most teenagers: omg my parents caught me smoking yesterday
- me: why can't I untangle these earphones
15,238 notes | Reblogged: (via)
May 31
The best love story ever
- Boy: hey
- Girl: *silence*
- Boy: I really like you
- Girl: *silence*
- Boy: I think I'm in love with you
- Girl: *silence*
- Boy: I will never let you go
- Girl: *silence*
- Boy: *kisses girl*
- Boy: *eats girl*
- Girl was Doritos the whole time
1,738 notes | Reblogged: (via)
May 31
I saw this sassy gif of Louis…
So I reversed it..
Now it’s sassier.
10,021 notes | Reblogged: (via)





